In each story there is a man who struggles valiantly. Against odds that he turns to his favor. He fights for love, lost or yet to be gained; sometimes to be rejoined with. He fights for glory, namesake, or honor. He fights for allies. He fights for a people or person. Perhaps even a nation. He fights for a goal that was, at the beginning of his endeavor, impossible.
Sometimes he does battle with his obstacles. Other times, he sets his wits against them. He falls, but rarely fails to return to his feet. He learns and grows. He gains control over that which he must do. He rallies his allies with ease. He treads his path alone.
He maintains his humanity in the end, though it may flounder from his grasp. He allows the foundations of his faith to be shaken but never crumbled. He questions himself always, but find balance in rewriting his morals. He finds courage in the strangest times.
Wherever his path takes him, he stands ready to crush his adversaries, be them external or internal. He not only carries the flag in hand, but also in heart. He tastes victory and does not turn his back to it. He makes the sacrifices he must, but does not cross the lines he drew in his soul.
This man of greatness. Of pure human quality goes by one true name, though many call him by several. He is not a martyr. He is not an idol. He is not a protagonist. He is not a saint, nor star, nor god. He is a hero.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Struggle
There are legends. Tales. Epics, stories, poems. Histories. All of them share a universal theme, whether in the subject or the composition. They are about man. The struggle of man. Man fights wars. For love, for honor, for power. Man explores. He seeks both secrets and truth. He searches for treasures, for completion, for answers. Man finds himself in the least likely of places. Man finds greatness.
There are unthinkable numbers of such stories. All of them about struggle. It is irrefutable proof that man, in his infinite wisdom, while searching for whatever it is that can fill the hole in his heart, must struggle.
What is struggle? It takes many forms, all parallel to each other. Externally, a man battles with disease, and inability, or an opponent. Internally, a man is faced with any possible number of things that he can only see glimpses of in the external. Man is constantly at war with himself. He loves and hates. He desires that which he cannot or does not have. He finds himself in contempt of himself. HE finds himself in contempt of others. Often a man struggles with what he believes. An internal or external struggle often begets the other.
In its many forms a struggle can be misinterpreted as suffering. Suffering is noted as needless or unnecessary. Ironically, 'needless' suffering can harden the resolve of a man to endure much worse of a struggle. Therefore, it can be said that suffering a struggle is never without purpose.
There are unthinkable numbers of such stories. All of them about struggle. It is irrefutable proof that man, in his infinite wisdom, while searching for whatever it is that can fill the hole in his heart, must struggle.
What is struggle? It takes many forms, all parallel to each other. Externally, a man battles with disease, and inability, or an opponent. Internally, a man is faced with any possible number of things that he can only see glimpses of in the external. Man is constantly at war with himself. He loves and hates. He desires that which he cannot or does not have. He finds himself in contempt of himself. HE finds himself in contempt of others. Often a man struggles with what he believes. An internal or external struggle often begets the other.
In its many forms a struggle can be misinterpreted as suffering. Suffering is noted as needless or unnecessary. Ironically, 'needless' suffering can harden the resolve of a man to endure much worse of a struggle. Therefore, it can be said that suffering a struggle is never without purpose.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Collision Course
Am I the only one who sees this tidal wave crashing down overhead?
How is it humanly possible that the remaining few intelligent Americans have not lead us into revolution at this point?
Life may be shit wall to wall, but this is absolute insanity. Politicians being accused left and right of sexual scandals, although their finances and questionable methods remain untouched? Children arrested over drawing guns, and yet the weapons themselves aren't outlawed? Teachers going insane under pressure, but schools still falling short of proper funding? Four hundred pound people fighting over syrup in public restaurants and not being punished? Gas prices soaring over unrest in the middle east when we not less than five years ago invaded an innocent country to push our own indulgences back to ourselves? Tolerance of overzealous shit-caked madmen and not of American citizens who demand equality?
What has become of us? What has man ever done to deserve his existence?
We are an unquenchable flame. Out of control altogether. A virus. A disease with no cure. Insatiable gluttons for every great sin committed by our forefathers and their forefathers. And the people don't stand together and put a stop to the animals in control?
Where is this oh so merciful God that millions call their savior? Where is the enlightenment built into the genetic code of every human soul? Where is the creator of this corrupt race, that he cannot save us from ourselves? Where, oh dear merciful earth, where, can we turn?
Fuck you humanity. I am both proud and ashamed to be of your number. Mostly ashamed, but proud that I have this mortal vessel from which to watch and overturn your insanity. You shall be destroyed in blood and fire and the true soul of man will reign over you in both heaven and hell, whichever he chooses to pursue in life. Perhaps if you are careless enough in your greed to overlook the few who can save you, you may yet be saved.
Hope for filling the hole in your heart is all but extinguished. Your pride is merely Arrogance masked in your own self-absorption. Any sense of progress you witness is only the world moving under you, not the other way around. So fail. Fail in your ultimate purpose humanity. I will laugh as you fall and fester. I will stand over the tops of your broken castles and raise the worthy to rebuild in God's true image.
How is it humanly possible that the remaining few intelligent Americans have not lead us into revolution at this point?
Life may be shit wall to wall, but this is absolute insanity. Politicians being accused left and right of sexual scandals, although their finances and questionable methods remain untouched? Children arrested over drawing guns, and yet the weapons themselves aren't outlawed? Teachers going insane under pressure, but schools still falling short of proper funding? Four hundred pound people fighting over syrup in public restaurants and not being punished? Gas prices soaring over unrest in the middle east when we not less than five years ago invaded an innocent country to push our own indulgences back to ourselves? Tolerance of overzealous shit-caked madmen and not of American citizens who demand equality?
What has become of us? What has man ever done to deserve his existence?
We are an unquenchable flame. Out of control altogether. A virus. A disease with no cure. Insatiable gluttons for every great sin committed by our forefathers and their forefathers. And the people don't stand together and put a stop to the animals in control?
Where is this oh so merciful God that millions call their savior? Where is the enlightenment built into the genetic code of every human soul? Where is the creator of this corrupt race, that he cannot save us from ourselves? Where, oh dear merciful earth, where, can we turn?
Fuck you humanity. I am both proud and ashamed to be of your number. Mostly ashamed, but proud that I have this mortal vessel from which to watch and overturn your insanity. You shall be destroyed in blood and fire and the true soul of man will reign over you in both heaven and hell, whichever he chooses to pursue in life. Perhaps if you are careless enough in your greed to overlook the few who can save you, you may yet be saved.
Hope for filling the hole in your heart is all but extinguished. Your pride is merely Arrogance masked in your own self-absorption. Any sense of progress you witness is only the world moving under you, not the other way around. So fail. Fail in your ultimate purpose humanity. I will laugh as you fall and fester. I will stand over the tops of your broken castles and raise the worthy to rebuild in God's true image.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
2011
So while the past year was interesting -I guess you could say it was filled with good times-but while it was interesting, I believe that this year will be my personal ramp upward into whatever it is I'm supposed to do. This may sound cheesy, but with the risk of sounding perhaps more cheesy I will say, I can feel it.
Anyways, Christmas and Thanksgiving passed over with a few pounds added. Otherwise, the turning of the new year seemed uneventful. Now, every way I turn to find news, I see only the further deterioration of mankind...Not to say that the Chinese couldn't do any better than the good old US of A, but through art, I have seen what mankind truly is meant for, and we are definitely going in the wrong direction.
As far as this whole Obama birth certificate thing goes, its seems this generation has bitten off more than it can chew in electing him. I haven't a clue why he could have been elected with such a strong Muslim background, but just the fact that there was any issue at all with his background checks should disqualify him. This country needs to stop fucking around when it comes to leadership.
So alongside this rampant growth of 'unforeseen problems' comes a much more dire situation. Where are we as a people? I would think we could unite towards a common goal by now, but we are still bordered by the limitations of nationality. I don't believe any more that the day I need to see to be complete, will come in my lifetime. I gave that dream up a long time ago. When finally the end falls on mankind and he sees his twisted visage reflected in the great sea of death, he will wish the same thing that I am wishing now. I wish that we would get over ourselves. What we truly and utterly need to move forward as a people at this point in time, is a unity unmarred by nationality, and a common goal to strive for. As pointed out by many a great sci-fi series, the stars are a candidate for mankind's next step into immortality. But we are not ready neither in maturity or in technology to achieve this step. As it appears now, we are doomed to die in wars between ourselves.
This is a very strange perspective to write, because I see it in relation to other perspectives on life. I fully understand the completeness of the characters we see in the strangest of places. I can fully empathize the love of the underground night club life. I can fully feel the sense of peace one finds ultimately from being a busybody day and night. I can see the ultimate joy of personal sacrifice, and even the secret happiness of those who suffer. But it is not my true perspective. I must be truly great in spirit if I can understand these, but refuse them for a life of suffering at the hands of my own observations.
There is a very odd observation I recently made while writing at two in the morning. That is that mankind is obsessed with his own struggle. Every story is about struggle. Every history is about struggle. Man struggles with everything. Even in peace, man struggles to keep it. While mankind struggles to overcome the boundaries he himself has set upon the world, each individual must overcome a series of their own struggles. While China struggles to dominate world economics, a heroic addict is struggling to go three weeks straight without his fix.
But a struggle is satisfying. Sometimes in the moment of struggle, sometimes in the moment of victory, sometimes in the moment looking back on it. Any way you look at it, a person will be stronger after a struggle because it is self fulfilling to triumph. And now, in light of that same universal perspective, we must know. Mankind must struggle, or be consumed by it.
Anyways, Christmas and Thanksgiving passed over with a few pounds added. Otherwise, the turning of the new year seemed uneventful. Now, every way I turn to find news, I see only the further deterioration of mankind...Not to say that the Chinese couldn't do any better than the good old US of A, but through art, I have seen what mankind truly is meant for, and we are definitely going in the wrong direction.
As far as this whole Obama birth certificate thing goes, its seems this generation has bitten off more than it can chew in electing him. I haven't a clue why he could have been elected with such a strong Muslim background, but just the fact that there was any issue at all with his background checks should disqualify him. This country needs to stop fucking around when it comes to leadership.
So alongside this rampant growth of 'unforeseen problems' comes a much more dire situation. Where are we as a people? I would think we could unite towards a common goal by now, but we are still bordered by the limitations of nationality. I don't believe any more that the day I need to see to be complete, will come in my lifetime. I gave that dream up a long time ago. When finally the end falls on mankind and he sees his twisted visage reflected in the great sea of death, he will wish the same thing that I am wishing now. I wish that we would get over ourselves. What we truly and utterly need to move forward as a people at this point in time, is a unity unmarred by nationality, and a common goal to strive for. As pointed out by many a great sci-fi series, the stars are a candidate for mankind's next step into immortality. But we are not ready neither in maturity or in technology to achieve this step. As it appears now, we are doomed to die in wars between ourselves.
This is a very strange perspective to write, because I see it in relation to other perspectives on life. I fully understand the completeness of the characters we see in the strangest of places. I can fully empathize the love of the underground night club life. I can fully feel the sense of peace one finds ultimately from being a busybody day and night. I can see the ultimate joy of personal sacrifice, and even the secret happiness of those who suffer. But it is not my true perspective. I must be truly great in spirit if I can understand these, but refuse them for a life of suffering at the hands of my own observations.
There is a very odd observation I recently made while writing at two in the morning. That is that mankind is obsessed with his own struggle. Every story is about struggle. Every history is about struggle. Man struggles with everything. Even in peace, man struggles to keep it. While mankind struggles to overcome the boundaries he himself has set upon the world, each individual must overcome a series of their own struggles. While China struggles to dominate world economics, a heroic addict is struggling to go three weeks straight without his fix.
But a struggle is satisfying. Sometimes in the moment of struggle, sometimes in the moment of victory, sometimes in the moment looking back on it. Any way you look at it, a person will be stronger after a struggle because it is self fulfilling to triumph. And now, in light of that same universal perspective, we must know. Mankind must struggle, or be consumed by it.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Oh WOW a whole month...
Hey fuck you, I get bored easy.
So yeah, uhhhh. cataclysm came out. Maybe I should go over that a bit, but I was also thinking about some other stuff. What Obama's been up to lately, namely. Oh and that damned third horseman of the apocalypse, Pestilence has been popping up going by his new name 'Holidays'. And what the fuck? This just in: I think I'm being a little cynical as of late. Hey, whatcha gonna do?
So. Cataclysm. Love/Hate. Same old same old. Stereotypical stable-server expansion release. All shine, no shit. Give it a go. The experience is solid. But hey, still a TON of people trying to do it all at once. Good luck leveling a crafting profession. Can drive a man to drinkin'.
Right. Obama. My good buddy El Presidente. Fuckin' nutter. Smart guy, dashing too. Complete nutter. I don't have the energy to do any research or outlining so you'll have to take this one on faith. It seems to me...that this guy, is a little too comfortable in his big chair to realize that it's being held up not by polished wooden legs, but by the masses of laborers still clinging to his 'HOPE' campaign posters. Sad when one realizes that what is likely to be the most important job position in the known world, could be run by any man from the working class with an IQ over 100. These private school bitches have got to stop running for office. Hey, woah. Hey, woah. Didn't I go to private school? Oh yeah, until I was given the choice to LEAVE. Good God, am I glad I left.
The Holidays. That delightful little Euphemism that leaves the kind-hearted gasping for air, as their heart size grows and their lung space diminishes. As for the rest of us cynical bastards,we,-again, euphemism-heart-no-oxygen,-appointed 'scrooges', have already taken a squared stance and begun our meditational breathing, ready to spout fire onto whatever religious, traditional, or new-age bullshit our closest friends and family have to toss at us in desperate attempts to convert us to their 'festivities' and 'good spirit'. What fun. The mad dash for whatever enlightenment that people find in shopping has long since begun. Even with the first delicate droppings of that feathery fine dandruff-like substance I find myself in shock that there is still milk on the grocery store shelves and that I am blessed with the electricity to tap away at the keyboard. That is, until some light-headed malnourished waterhead teenager manages to swerve a little too close to the middle of the road and upon pulling back too hard in the other direction, slams into a single pole, and wipes out half the eastern seaboard.
I think the effects of late-night sleeplessness and the giddy feeling of sobriety have had a very persuasive part in this article, and without further ado, I will head off to dream of the vague things that dance through our minds this time of year. Faceless women and featureless hundred dollar bills, as it usually is. Grab a blanket, snuggle close to that special someone, and pray things don't get awkward. Until next time.
So yeah, uhhhh. cataclysm came out. Maybe I should go over that a bit, but I was also thinking about some other stuff. What Obama's been up to lately, namely. Oh and that damned third horseman of the apocalypse, Pestilence has been popping up going by his new name 'Holidays'. And what the fuck? This just in: I think I'm being a little cynical as of late. Hey, whatcha gonna do?
So. Cataclysm. Love/Hate. Same old same old. Stereotypical stable-server expansion release. All shine, no shit. Give it a go. The experience is solid. But hey, still a TON of people trying to do it all at once. Good luck leveling a crafting profession. Can drive a man to drinkin'.
Right. Obama. My good buddy El Presidente. Fuckin' nutter. Smart guy, dashing too. Complete nutter. I don't have the energy to do any research or outlining so you'll have to take this one on faith. It seems to me...that this guy, is a little too comfortable in his big chair to realize that it's being held up not by polished wooden legs, but by the masses of laborers still clinging to his 'HOPE' campaign posters. Sad when one realizes that what is likely to be the most important job position in the known world, could be run by any man from the working class with an IQ over 100. These private school bitches have got to stop running for office. Hey, woah. Hey, woah. Didn't I go to private school? Oh yeah, until I was given the choice to LEAVE. Good God, am I glad I left.
The Holidays. That delightful little Euphemism that leaves the kind-hearted gasping for air, as their heart size grows and their lung space diminishes. As for the rest of us cynical bastards,we,-again, euphemism-heart-no-oxygen,-appointed 'scrooges', have already taken a squared stance and begun our meditational breathing, ready to spout fire onto whatever religious, traditional, or new-age bullshit our closest friends and family have to toss at us in desperate attempts to convert us to their 'festivities' and 'good spirit'. What fun. The mad dash for whatever enlightenment that people find in shopping has long since begun. Even with the first delicate droppings of that feathery fine dandruff-like substance I find myself in shock that there is still milk on the grocery store shelves and that I am blessed with the electricity to tap away at the keyboard. That is, until some light-headed malnourished waterhead teenager manages to swerve a little too close to the middle of the road and upon pulling back too hard in the other direction, slams into a single pole, and wipes out half the eastern seaboard.
I think the effects of late-night sleeplessness and the giddy feeling of sobriety have had a very persuasive part in this article, and without further ado, I will head off to dream of the vague things that dance through our minds this time of year. Faceless women and featureless hundred dollar bills, as it usually is. Grab a blanket, snuggle close to that special someone, and pray things don't get awkward. Until next time.
Friday, November 12, 2010
I had a cool idea for a film, but it came out half shorty story, half screen play. Bear with me on the odd format. I'm trying to produce a title that isn't lame.
MAY 6, 2046: NEWS BROADCAST -FDC LIVE- 0914 HOURS
"Hello there, I'm Tina Sampson with the international news at FDC, and we bring you live to the perimeter of a one Mr. Markus Tekim's Jordan estate, where the military forces of INTERPOL have surrounded the area. It seems we may see a direct confrontation brought about by the events concerning Mr. Tekim over the past two years. We're receiving comments from the Director in Chief now.
BOTTOM SCROLL: GREGORI HARSKI - DIRECTOR IN CHIEF, INTERPOL
"Mr. Tekim has for quite a while now lead us on a wild chase for whatever secrets he has locked beneath his mansion here in Jordan. He has evaded all attempts to reveal his project, although we have just received permission to do just that.
To recap: On December 6th, 2043, two commercial airliners and one INTERPOL helicopter were bombarded by heavily coded electronic signals, which disrupted many of the controls and readings in each aircraft. The two commercial jets landed safely. The helicopter crew was not so lucky, however they did evacuate safely.
On March 8th, 2044, Mr. Tekim admitted to having the technology capable of such a transmission, but that it would not happen again. He not only paid all expenses related to the incident, but also refused to reveal the nature of his private property or its purpose.
Having shown his project to be a possible threat, several INTERPOL agents were placed on active surveillance, within legal limits. Not two weeks after his statement, a large electronic and radioactive spike set off and overloaded INTERPOL surveillance instruments. Following the second incident, Mr. Tekim insisted that it was another accidental experiment, but his vehement opposition to both surveillance and INTERPOL involvement were considered motive enough to lash out at officers working well within the law. Again, Tekim paid all expenses generously, but did not offer any information about his actions or intentions.
On November 1st, Mr. Tekim disappeared entirely. Neither professional nor personal networks had any communication with him. There were large fluxes of security measures reported at three of his estates, most notably that in Jordan. The following day, Tekim released a recorded video statement that if he was not left in peace, he would be forced into hiding forever. He also had many statements that included thanks given to his readers and followers.
Strangely, Mr. Tekim was spotted only twelve days later in public-- at a local gas station, of all places. Reporters and paparazzi were there in minutes. His only statement was upon being asked whether he was working for the American government. "America is a dead country." He said, "No matter what I tell you, nobody will believe me anyways." The cashier at the station said Mr. Telkim bought only a '100 Grand' candy bar and a can of Pepsi. Since then, he has shut himself inside his Jordan mansion, near Karameh outside Amman.
Furthermore, upon reviewing financial records dating back to 2043, INTERPOL has reason to believe that Mr. Tekim is in fact building a machine of war. A few excerpts of his recent purchases are as follows:
- Twelve thousand gallons JP-6 fuel
- Two hundred twenty tons of carbon steel
- Forty thousand dollars worth of assorted advanced electronic parts and blueprints
- Shares and access to A.I. software being developed by Artificial Intelligence Labs International (AILI)
- Shares, software, and blueprints from Advanced Robotics SOMATECH
- Shares, hardware, and blueprints from several advanced weaponry companies such as SARO, SETARA, and GURGIN
- Access to over forty molding, shaping, and refining factories in over twelve countries
As you can see, Mr. Tekim is likely building a machine with an arsenal capable of destructive force. Therefore, INTERPOL, with the support of the U.N. and the permission of Jordans' fine government officials, will conduct a search and possible seizure of Mr. Tekim's properties.
Mr. Tekim, should you be watching, I urge you to turn yourself in and offer full cooperation. We do this only in protection of our beloved homelands, and for Jordan herself. Thank you."
"There you have it, directly from the Director in Chief himself. We'll be right back with more recent developments on the Tekim controversy. This is Tina Sampson reporting for FDC."
JORDAN: MARKUS TEKIM'S ESTATE
DARK ROOM -TV ILLUMINATES MARKUS AND FELIX
"Ha! I knew there'd be no mention of the good stuff I got my hands on, and I never bought shit from SETARA."
"Naturally, Markus, most of what you got was top secret."
"Yeah, well. I guess it's time to fire it up, Felix. Wipe what you can, torch the rest. You've got the protocol?"
"I do." SIGH. "Finally time to leave the womb."
"I wonder if they've caught on to Aroff yet."
"Possible but unlikely. I'll go get Matt."
"Hey, Felix. Thanks. I mean, really, thanks. For all of it."
"Heh. My pleasure I guess. One last secret project before I retire in hiding."
"Anything else you need?"
"Just watch yourself out there. I didn't do it just for you. Hell, watch my back if you can."
"Yup." SHAKE HANDS
"This won't be goodbye, I hope."
"You'll see me on TV every day if all goes according to plan. No, that is. It won't be goodbye."
FELIX EXITS
3 MONTHS EARLIER: THE MICK DOUGAN SHOW - A POPULAR EVENING TV TALK SHOW
"Welcome back folks. Tonight we have an esteemed guest. He teaches several history classes at the University of Cambridge, and he's just written a book about Markus Tekim's past dealings and political influence over the past decade. Please welcome, Mr. Harry Metress. "
APPLAUSE - HARRY ENTERS- SITS
"Thanks Mick, how's it been?"
"Wonderful, actually. How's life on campus?"
"Not as bad as most professors make it out to be, really. Kind of everyone's a busybody, but theres a killer bunch of restaurants around the school for visiting parents."
"Hah, as long as you're coping Harry. Tell us about your book."
"Well, this one is actually sort of an addendum on Tekim's series. It's almost a manual. I wrote it to outline his works as a whole, but to extrapolate on his theories a bit."
"So it's a summary with notes."
"I suppose, yeah. I've basically take each theory a step further and put it into historical context. He uses examples, I use simulations. There's a line, uh -a fine line, I should say- uh, between what he proposes and what is actually being done about it. Proposing what he did actually twisted the minds of world leaders a little bit already."
"So Harry, how about all this Tekim controversy. What are your views on recent events?"
"Um, Tekim is all about complete an utter change, but he can't do anything without a position of power. So while most theorize that he's starting a revolution or a war or something like that, I think he's taking steps to ensure himself a throne from which to work, so to speak. He's got a good head on his shoulders, so I don't think he can go too far without damaging his reputation."
"So you think he's about to overthrow someone, or do you think he's just working up the press?"
"I was honestly a big supporter of Tekim a few years back, and some of that sticks with me for sure. I believe that with the right combination of minds, we could pry his motives from all that he's published. I think what we would find is an overwhelming desire for radical change. We're talking governments, policies, technologies, social structure...He wants to unite the world."
MAY 6, 2046: NEWS BROADCAST -FDC LIVE- 0914 HOURS
"Hello there, I'm Tina Sampson with the international news at FDC, and we bring you live to the perimeter of a one Mr. Markus Tekim's Jordan estate, where the military forces of INTERPOL have surrounded the area. It seems we may see a direct confrontation brought about by the events concerning Mr. Tekim over the past two years. We're receiving comments from the Director in Chief now.
BOTTOM SCROLL: GREGORI HARSKI - DIRECTOR IN CHIEF, INTERPOL
"Mr. Tekim has for quite a while now lead us on a wild chase for whatever secrets he has locked beneath his mansion here in Jordan. He has evaded all attempts to reveal his project, although we have just received permission to do just that.
To recap: On December 6th, 2043, two commercial airliners and one INTERPOL helicopter were bombarded by heavily coded electronic signals, which disrupted many of the controls and readings in each aircraft. The two commercial jets landed safely. The helicopter crew was not so lucky, however they did evacuate safely.
On March 8th, 2044, Mr. Tekim admitted to having the technology capable of such a transmission, but that it would not happen again. He not only paid all expenses related to the incident, but also refused to reveal the nature of his private property or its purpose.
Having shown his project to be a possible threat, several INTERPOL agents were placed on active surveillance, within legal limits. Not two weeks after his statement, a large electronic and radioactive spike set off and overloaded INTERPOL surveillance instruments. Following the second incident, Mr. Tekim insisted that it was another accidental experiment, but his vehement opposition to both surveillance and INTERPOL involvement were considered motive enough to lash out at officers working well within the law. Again, Tekim paid all expenses generously, but did not offer any information about his actions or intentions.
On November 1st, Mr. Tekim disappeared entirely. Neither professional nor personal networks had any communication with him. There were large fluxes of security measures reported at three of his estates, most notably that in Jordan. The following day, Tekim released a recorded video statement that if he was not left in peace, he would be forced into hiding forever. He also had many statements that included thanks given to his readers and followers.
Strangely, Mr. Tekim was spotted only twelve days later in public-- at a local gas station, of all places. Reporters and paparazzi were there in minutes. His only statement was upon being asked whether he was working for the American government. "America is a dead country." He said, "No matter what I tell you, nobody will believe me anyways." The cashier at the station said Mr. Telkim bought only a '100 Grand' candy bar and a can of Pepsi. Since then, he has shut himself inside his Jordan mansion, near Karameh outside Amman.
Furthermore, upon reviewing financial records dating back to 2043, INTERPOL has reason to believe that Mr. Tekim is in fact building a machine of war. A few excerpts of his recent purchases are as follows:
- Twelve thousand gallons JP-6 fuel
- Two hundred twenty tons of carbon steel
- Forty thousand dollars worth of assorted advanced electronic parts and blueprints
- Shares and access to A.I. software being developed by Artificial Intelligence Labs International (AILI)
- Shares, software, and blueprints from Advanced Robotics SOMATECH
- Shares, hardware, and blueprints from several advanced weaponry companies such as SARO, SETARA, and GURGIN
- Access to over forty molding, shaping, and refining factories in over twelve countries
As you can see, Mr. Tekim is likely building a machine with an arsenal capable of destructive force. Therefore, INTERPOL, with the support of the U.N. and the permission of Jordans' fine government officials, will conduct a search and possible seizure of Mr. Tekim's properties.
Mr. Tekim, should you be watching, I urge you to turn yourself in and offer full cooperation. We do this only in protection of our beloved homelands, and for Jordan herself. Thank you."
"There you have it, directly from the Director in Chief himself. We'll be right back with more recent developments on the Tekim controversy. This is Tina Sampson reporting for FDC."
JORDAN: MARKUS TEKIM'S ESTATE
DARK ROOM -TV ILLUMINATES MARKUS AND FELIX
"Ha! I knew there'd be no mention of the good stuff I got my hands on, and I never bought shit from SETARA."
"Naturally, Markus, most of what you got was top secret."
"Yeah, well. I guess it's time to fire it up, Felix. Wipe what you can, torch the rest. You've got the protocol?"
"I do." SIGH. "Finally time to leave the womb."
"I wonder if they've caught on to Aroff yet."
"Possible but unlikely. I'll go get Matt."
"Hey, Felix. Thanks. I mean, really, thanks. For all of it."
"Heh. My pleasure I guess. One last secret project before I retire in hiding."
"Anything else you need?"
"Just watch yourself out there. I didn't do it just for you. Hell, watch my back if you can."
"Yup." SHAKE HANDS
"This won't be goodbye, I hope."
"You'll see me on TV every day if all goes according to plan. No, that is. It won't be goodbye."
FELIX EXITS
3 MONTHS EARLIER: THE MICK DOUGAN SHOW - A POPULAR EVENING TV TALK SHOW
"Welcome back folks. Tonight we have an esteemed guest. He teaches several history classes at the University of Cambridge, and he's just written a book about Markus Tekim's past dealings and political influence over the past decade. Please welcome, Mr. Harry Metress. "
APPLAUSE - HARRY ENTERS- SITS
"Thanks Mick, how's it been?"
"Wonderful, actually. How's life on campus?"
"Not as bad as most professors make it out to be, really. Kind of everyone's a busybody, but theres a killer bunch of restaurants around the school for visiting parents."
"Hah, as long as you're coping Harry. Tell us about your book."
"Well, this one is actually sort of an addendum on Tekim's series. It's almost a manual. I wrote it to outline his works as a whole, but to extrapolate on his theories a bit."
"So it's a summary with notes."
"I suppose, yeah. I've basically take each theory a step further and put it into historical context. He uses examples, I use simulations. There's a line, uh -a fine line, I should say- uh, between what he proposes and what is actually being done about it. Proposing what he did actually twisted the minds of world leaders a little bit already."
"So Harry, how about all this Tekim controversy. What are your views on recent events?"
"Um, Tekim is all about complete an utter change, but he can't do anything without a position of power. So while most theorize that he's starting a revolution or a war or something like that, I think he's taking steps to ensure himself a throne from which to work, so to speak. He's got a good head on his shoulders, so I don't think he can go too far without damaging his reputation."
"So you think he's about to overthrow someone, or do you think he's just working up the press?"
"I was honestly a big supporter of Tekim a few years back, and some of that sticks with me for sure. I believe that with the right combination of minds, we could pry his motives from all that he's published. I think what we would find is an overwhelming desire for radical change. We're talking governments, policies, technologies, social structure...He wants to unite the world."
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
America and the Drain Pt. 4.1: Freedom? Yeah, for straight people.
You may have noticed in reading this series a certain trend of pessimism, or hell I'll say it, hidden bitterness. Last segment, I ranted about the justice system of America. In this installment we'll be skimming over the topic of freedom. The hypnotic icon that we as a people use to justify our wrongs, to justify our existence, to justify our behavior, and to swing like a pendulum over the rest of the world as if they're going to get sleepier and sleepier. It is an idiotic campaign in America to assert that we are a free country, let alone the most free. Keep in mind this country's history of segregation, racial prejudice, sexual oppression, and slanderous political backgrounds. Lets dive in shall we?
I am about to write a paper on gay rights for school, and I thought what better place to outline my thoughts than here, in the safety of my own blog? If this country were really so free, why then, is it taking so fucking long to decide whether gays can marry or not? If its a FREE country, then they should be FREE to do as the please. So long as its not a threat to national security, what the fuck is wrong with it? I should stop myself here and say I do not agree with the gay lifestyle. It gets tangled worse and worse every day now due to so many mixed feelings and personal stories. I personally believe that it is a natural thing to be attracted to another person, even of the same sex. Alexander the Great had lovers both male and female. We ALL know how nature intended humans, or all creatures for that matter, are meant to be paired off. I didn't choose to be attracted to women, its natural, just as it is natural for anyone else to be attracted to whom they are. Bottom line: Gay is a term for love between people who are created from the same dust, who breathe the same air, who possess the same faculties, and who make the same daily grind as the rest of us, but do not love a person who enables reproduction between the two of them. Same sex love. I know where a dick (or vagina) is supposed to go by law of reproduction, but we all know where it CAN go by law of natural attraction. Some people fuck dolls. Some people fuck toys. Nearly everyone on the planet has fucked themselves. It's not as nature intended, but it is natural. See the idea?
Now, the political issue in this matter lies with religion. Ahh yes, good old God. Here is where the tragedy of the human race lies, but we can save that issue for another time. The old fucks who run the place, uhh, senators and the president that is, believe that this country must be run by mandate of the laws laid down by their God, but they only half-ass it. For some reason many of the ten commandments are not in any way associated with laws. What happened to Honor thy Father and Mother? What about keeping the sabbath holy? What the fuck did they do with using the Lord's name in vain? And yet the oh so holy union between man and woman, which by the way is NOT a commandment, rather a teaching, is being enforced? What? Did we miss something? Are they really playing a card they don't really have? It's as if scribbled an 'A' on four corners of a business card and said it was a fifth ace.
If this is a free country, what gives them the right to dictate who a person chooses to create a home with? I could use a hundred more arguments here, like the fact that more than half the couples who marry end up divorced or split. As for this recent 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy debate, I have one thing to say. Who cares? What gay man or woman in their right mind brags about it to straight people in the military? Oh sure, provoke a creature that is already so hormone driven to be violent that you get laid more than him or her because you don't have sex with the opposite gender. Real smart. Honestly though, why is this still an issue? Anyone can recognize a gay person by going up to them in a bar and asking them if they're interested in a drink or a relationship. If the answer is 'I'm not interested.' or 'I'm gay.' the result is EXACTLY THE SAME. Why, would in the military, this case be any different (aside from the hate crimes committed against gays)? 'Oh well what if a gay person comes onto me, Matt?' Well, then you tellem you're not Gay. You should be flattered. HURR DURR. PROBLEM SOLVED.
Most of these issues are purely halted by a few stupid peoples' opinions. I still have no idea why we don't all vote as a people on one topic, rather than let a bunch of codgy old draft dodgers do the deciding for us. All in all, gays deserve their freedom as much as the rest of us cholesterol-packed, God-obsessed, money-lusting, hateful, prejudiced, sacks of shit. So why wait? Legalize gay marriage. Legalize gay adoptions. Legalize freedom.
Pt 4.2: Freedom? It's a Relative Thing. Coming soon.
I am about to write a paper on gay rights for school, and I thought what better place to outline my thoughts than here, in the safety of my own blog? If this country were really so free, why then, is it taking so fucking long to decide whether gays can marry or not? If its a FREE country, then they should be FREE to do as the please. So long as its not a threat to national security, what the fuck is wrong with it? I should stop myself here and say I do not agree with the gay lifestyle. It gets tangled worse and worse every day now due to so many mixed feelings and personal stories. I personally believe that it is a natural thing to be attracted to another person, even of the same sex. Alexander the Great had lovers both male and female. We ALL know how nature intended humans, or all creatures for that matter, are meant to be paired off. I didn't choose to be attracted to women, its natural, just as it is natural for anyone else to be attracted to whom they are. Bottom line: Gay is a term for love between people who are created from the same dust, who breathe the same air, who possess the same faculties, and who make the same daily grind as the rest of us, but do not love a person who enables reproduction between the two of them. Same sex love. I know where a dick (or vagina) is supposed to go by law of reproduction, but we all know where it CAN go by law of natural attraction. Some people fuck dolls. Some people fuck toys. Nearly everyone on the planet has fucked themselves. It's not as nature intended, but it is natural. See the idea?
Now, the political issue in this matter lies with religion. Ahh yes, good old God. Here is where the tragedy of the human race lies, but we can save that issue for another time. The old fucks who run the place, uhh, senators and the president that is, believe that this country must be run by mandate of the laws laid down by their God, but they only half-ass it. For some reason many of the ten commandments are not in any way associated with laws. What happened to Honor thy Father and Mother? What about keeping the sabbath holy? What the fuck did they do with using the Lord's name in vain? And yet the oh so holy union between man and woman, which by the way is NOT a commandment, rather a teaching, is being enforced? What? Did we miss something? Are they really playing a card they don't really have? It's as if scribbled an 'A' on four corners of a business card and said it was a fifth ace.
If this is a free country, what gives them the right to dictate who a person chooses to create a home with? I could use a hundred more arguments here, like the fact that more than half the couples who marry end up divorced or split. As for this recent 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy debate, I have one thing to say. Who cares? What gay man or woman in their right mind brags about it to straight people in the military? Oh sure, provoke a creature that is already so hormone driven to be violent that you get laid more than him or her because you don't have sex with the opposite gender. Real smart. Honestly though, why is this still an issue? Anyone can recognize a gay person by going up to them in a bar and asking them if they're interested in a drink or a relationship. If the answer is 'I'm not interested.' or 'I'm gay.' the result is EXACTLY THE SAME. Why, would in the military, this case be any different (aside from the hate crimes committed against gays)? 'Oh well what if a gay person comes onto me, Matt?' Well, then you tellem you're not Gay. You should be flattered. HURR DURR. PROBLEM SOLVED.
Most of these issues are purely halted by a few stupid peoples' opinions. I still have no idea why we don't all vote as a people on one topic, rather than let a bunch of codgy old draft dodgers do the deciding for us. All in all, gays deserve their freedom as much as the rest of us cholesterol-packed, God-obsessed, money-lusting, hateful, prejudiced, sacks of shit. So why wait? Legalize gay marriage. Legalize gay adoptions. Legalize freedom.
Pt 4.2: Freedom? It's a Relative Thing. Coming soon.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Genesis: A poem
So I was digging through my old notebooks and found this old 3 part abstract poem. Thought I'd add a final piece, polish it up, and throw it down.
Genesis
He laughed in madness,
And stood facing out to sea.
Suddenly, a streak across the silver waves
And a path for him it hallowed.
Burning, blazing, sulfur,
Water boiled away.
Down, down, as if unplugged.
And yet when it was finished,
He sat and laughed some more.
Laughed at the flopping fish,
And the broken hulls of ships,
And slowly came to the next.
A second sea, full with life.
Boiled away so hot,
That even the sand began to glass,
Began to melt and slag.
The trees burned down.
The grass became ash.
Cities, households, people, were vaporized by fire.
All alone in the scorched world,
He laughed and watched the heavens.
He screamed in rage.
As he looked over a valley.
Suddenly, a drop of rain through the air,
A splash for him it sounded.
Clouds sailed, rain poured, flooding.
The oceans grew;
Grew as if fed from within.
And yet, when it was finished,
He screamed some more.
Screamed at the floating flotsam.
And at the swimming fish,
And slowly came to the next.
A second valley, barren of life,
Flooded, so full,
That even the land became water.
Began to moisten and break.
The Ships were tossed.
The Mountains drowned.
Plants, Birds, and Man, were swallowed by the sea.
All alone in the flooded world,
He screamed and watched the stars.
He wept in sadness,
As he stood facing out to sea.
Suddenly, a gust across the open sky,
And a cold for him it grew.
Wind blew, frost formed, snow fell.
The sky turned to ice.
Hardened, as if it were stone.
And yet when this was finished,
He sat and wept some more.
Wept at the frozen oceans,
And at the lonely skies.
And slowly came to the next.
A second sea, so full with life.
Turned to ice, so cold,
That even the fishes stopped,
Began to halt and freeze.
The depths were solid.
The core was stilled.
Mountains, plains ,and canyons, were silent under ice.
All alone in the frozen world,
He wept and watched the clouds.
At last, He fell silent.
As he shivered in the snow.
Suddenly, the sun passed overhead.
And a heat for him it started.
Ice melted, waters churned, life rekindled.
The waters receded.
Drained, as if turned to steam.
And yet when this was finished,
He stayed silent.
Silent in facing balance,
And in seeing life.
He slowly came to darkness.
A half of Earth, untouched by light.
The sun swayed, in orbit,
That land was freed again,
Yielded plant and man.
Trees took root.
Man took lodge.
Water, Air, and Fire, were balanced over Earth.
Still alone in the reborn world,
He smiled and returned to heaven.
Genesis
He laughed in madness,
And stood facing out to sea.
Suddenly, a streak across the silver waves
And a path for him it hallowed.
Burning, blazing, sulfur,
Water boiled away.
Down, down, as if unplugged.
And yet when it was finished,
He sat and laughed some more.
Laughed at the flopping fish,
And the broken hulls of ships,
And slowly came to the next.
A second sea, full with life.
Boiled away so hot,
That even the sand began to glass,
Began to melt and slag.
The trees burned down.
The grass became ash.
Cities, households, people, were vaporized by fire.
All alone in the scorched world,
He laughed and watched the heavens.
He screamed in rage.
As he looked over a valley.
Suddenly, a drop of rain through the air,
A splash for him it sounded.
Clouds sailed, rain poured, flooding.
The oceans grew;
Grew as if fed from within.
And yet, when it was finished,
He screamed some more.
Screamed at the floating flotsam.
And at the swimming fish,
And slowly came to the next.
A second valley, barren of life,
Flooded, so full,
That even the land became water.
Began to moisten and break.
The Ships were tossed.
The Mountains drowned.
Plants, Birds, and Man, were swallowed by the sea.
All alone in the flooded world,
He screamed and watched the stars.
He wept in sadness,
As he stood facing out to sea.
Suddenly, a gust across the open sky,
And a cold for him it grew.
Wind blew, frost formed, snow fell.
The sky turned to ice.
Hardened, as if it were stone.
And yet when this was finished,
He sat and wept some more.
Wept at the frozen oceans,
And at the lonely skies.
And slowly came to the next.
A second sea, so full with life.
Turned to ice, so cold,
That even the fishes stopped,
Began to halt and freeze.
The depths were solid.
The core was stilled.
Mountains, plains ,and canyons, were silent under ice.
All alone in the frozen world,
He wept and watched the clouds.
At last, He fell silent.
As he shivered in the snow.
Suddenly, the sun passed overhead.
And a heat for him it started.
Ice melted, waters churned, life rekindled.
The waters receded.
Drained, as if turned to steam.
And yet when this was finished,
He stayed silent.
Silent in facing balance,
And in seeing life.
He slowly came to darkness.
A half of Earth, untouched by light.
The sun swayed, in orbit,
That land was freed again,
Yielded plant and man.
Trees took root.
Man took lodge.
Water, Air, and Fire, were balanced over Earth.
Still alone in the reborn world,
He smiled and returned to heaven.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Old Hilarities
So a buddy recently dug up my old Xanga site, which was both disturbing and funny. Rather than delete it (I don't recall the password), I decided to scroll through every post. Most are to be expected, the spazzing and the depression, but I stumbled upon this.
This is a newsletter that St. Mary's church in Colorado Springs sent out this week:
If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church
This is a newsletter that St. Mary's church in Colorado Springs sent out this week:
If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Stew
Recently I find myself immersed in many things I was not a month ago. I've been studying, meditating, observing, learning. I have been stewing the juices so to speak. Soon enough the flavor will be impeccable.
Among studies, I have picked up Buddhism, which I find both foreign and familiar. Foreign in the sense that it reflects a culture not my own, and that it also reflects many pieces of myself I have not seen before. Familiar in the sense that I find myself many steps further down the path of enlightenment than I could have thought, and that it reflects also the pieces of myself that I have seen reflected in many other pools along such a path. I find the study of this spiritual journey fascinating. No, I do not consider myself a true Buddhist, but sensibly we are all Buddhists in some form or another, according to Buddhism that is. Buddhism is not a religion, rather, it is a spiritual assessment test. It helps to prune the mind and set one on the path to a greater mental consciousness. So no robes and beads here, but it does lead to the second of my recent endeavors.
Mystical as it may seem, meditation has piqued my interest. Thus I find myself as of late sitting in the afternoon sun or before a lone candle, clearing my mind and counting my breaths. Not only have I been meditating along a spiritual path, but also on along the plane of reality. I have too long waited and watched in from this room and through the eyes of a young man. I have forced myself from several avenues of pleasure, and taken up practice, of both spiritual and realistic means, to ensure a future for myself. Perhaps, as lazy as I was through adolescent years, I have learned enough to put into practice. Time will Tell.
I have observed or rather, witnessed a few things lately that have stirred emotion in me. I have unearthed a little motivation and have begun to drip my creativity into notebooks again. Doodles, poems, names. Through watching movies, people, reactions, and discipline I seem to have absorbed a bit of each into a repertoire of sorts. Perhaps again, I may put into reality that which I have craved to learn from all these years.
Now I know I speak almost in riddles. Very high and fashionable, foolishly wise-sounding, but I can think of no better ways at current to relay these feelings I wish to remember. The changing of boy to man.
(Yes yes, America and the Drain will continue eventually.)
Among studies, I have picked up Buddhism, which I find both foreign and familiar. Foreign in the sense that it reflects a culture not my own, and that it also reflects many pieces of myself I have not seen before. Familiar in the sense that I find myself many steps further down the path of enlightenment than I could have thought, and that it reflects also the pieces of myself that I have seen reflected in many other pools along such a path. I find the study of this spiritual journey fascinating. No, I do not consider myself a true Buddhist, but sensibly we are all Buddhists in some form or another, according to Buddhism that is. Buddhism is not a religion, rather, it is a spiritual assessment test. It helps to prune the mind and set one on the path to a greater mental consciousness. So no robes and beads here, but it does lead to the second of my recent endeavors.
Mystical as it may seem, meditation has piqued my interest. Thus I find myself as of late sitting in the afternoon sun or before a lone candle, clearing my mind and counting my breaths. Not only have I been meditating along a spiritual path, but also on along the plane of reality. I have too long waited and watched in from this room and through the eyes of a young man. I have forced myself from several avenues of pleasure, and taken up practice, of both spiritual and realistic means, to ensure a future for myself. Perhaps, as lazy as I was through adolescent years, I have learned enough to put into practice. Time will Tell.
I have observed or rather, witnessed a few things lately that have stirred emotion in me. I have unearthed a little motivation and have begun to drip my creativity into notebooks again. Doodles, poems, names. Through watching movies, people, reactions, and discipline I seem to have absorbed a bit of each into a repertoire of sorts. Perhaps again, I may put into reality that which I have craved to learn from all these years.
Now I know I speak almost in riddles. Very high and fashionable, foolishly wise-sounding, but I can think of no better ways at current to relay these feelings I wish to remember. The changing of boy to man.
(Yes yes, America and the Drain will continue eventually.)
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