Ah yes, back to that drain metaphor again. If you haven't already, read the post before this one. It may give you the chance to either understand this one or the will to close this page and watch some youtube shit instead. Or both. So back to the drain, yes. That drain which America has begun circling in ignorance and idiocy. There are several unanswerable questions that come to mind here. If we are draining, it means we are liquid. How could America be a liquid? Are we a drinkable and digestible liquid that may someday pass through the urinary tract of some cosmic figure that watches over us, or, are we in fact that food-bloated scum-water that's always left in the sink after dinner? Whose sink are we draining down? How do we know it's a sink? But the most important question to ask in any dire situation is, who is to blame? Or in this case, who pulled the plug? Well, I'm here to tell you. It wasn't the gays or the womens' rights activists like so many religious zealots claim. It was, in fact, the elderly. Yes, gramma and grampa. Those kitten-obsessed hunchbacks that still send you stickers for your birthday even though you're turning 23. Them. How, you probably wonder, can such kind and loving people be the culprit behind this mangled mess?
Opinions. They have opinions. Ahh yes, some of you are catching on now. The elderly are so revolted at the changes in our culture and the difference from 'back in their day' that they have wedged their opinions firmly in the ass of government. Sure not all of them agree. My father thoroughly enjoys Mariah Carey as well as Heart and I trust his open mind to carry this trend further. Seriously, no demographic sucks as many precious minutes of our time as these old fucks. Not only do we feel morally obligated to care for them in their deteriorating final years, but they demand compensation for their misfortune of aging. They get disability checks instead of a swift death at the hands of mother nature. We spend billions on bullshit medical studies trying to keep them alive longer. WHY? For Christ's sake why the fuck would anyone want to live that long? I'm not even 20 yet and I am fully prepared to die. If they can't go out with dignity then is it really a worthy sacrifice to drain what's left of ours? If you are offended at this point you have good reason, but so do I. I have witnessed firsthand. I worked as an 'activities assistant' at a local retirement home for a whole summer, which is one summer longer than I will ever work in one again. More than three-fourths of these people were bedridden and so far gone that they have no idea what is going on around them. I had a kind old lady, bless Mrs. Lenore Albert's heart (she has passed since then), who told me over the course of two hours six Alzheimer's induced situations in which I was either her first boy friend as we attended a baseball game, her husband sitting on our front porch, or her brother playing a game in the yard. One of these was invariably named Joe, my guess is as good as yours, but that's what she repeatedly called me. This used to make me think that life was truly the mental trips of our dreaming corpses in hospital beds in the future. It was a dark place to work. Every day as they all woke for their morning sponge baths it sounded like the chorus of the damned. I had to deliver newspapers to many of the rooms and was horrified to think that i should ever see some naked 80-year-old being swabbed by a nurse as they choked down whatever pills they were prescribed. Though most of the poor folks in that home should have died a long time ago, I still met one or two that still hold with me today. Not necessarily the wisdom they imbued but the genuine trust and care they held for anyone but themselves.
The real problem does not lie in nursing homes, no. It's the old folks that still drive. The ones that go a good 20 miles UNDER the speed limit just to accommodate their bouncing chocolate lab in the back seat. Fuck you, I have to get to work early. The other fourth of the aforementioned nursing home population was broken into two halves. One half demanded every accommodation readily available while the other half suffered in silence, if not indifferent and immersed in some other reality.
And the worst of the worst are the disabled. Let me just say, if you are claiming disability because you are fat, or have leg problems because you are fat, you are a despicable human being. How many times have I had to fetch the scooter-cart for the elderly to buzz around on in the grocery store? Too many. Why the fuck, would you, knowing full well you cannot walk or stand for longer than a minute go to the grocery store and expect anyone there to spend their time and money to make you more comfortable. But it WORKS. They manage to weasel attention and resources out of the public because of our guilt and shame and morality. They have found a way to tip the already skewed natural balance to their favor.
Now, I know the two fucking billion elderly people who make their pilgrimage to Florida every year bring in a lot of revenue, but most of these people are fit enough to golf twice a week. They have taken care of themselves long enough to reap the benefits of success late in life. THESE elders are those we should respect and listen to.
Perhaps I am targeting the elderly as only a subgroup of those who take advantage of our policies. Maybe I just hate old people because they always get their way. After all, they seem to swarm grocery stores at 8AM religiously just to buy shit they don't need and they can bitch about the prices.
Collectively, it's the system to blame. It's too lenient. It allows the expansion of a group of people that will only leech and not contribute. If it seems wrong to you to deny people comfort over funding a way to colonize space, fucking wake up. We as a race, as i so delicately laid out in my previous post, are expanding too fast to be able to support ourselves. And truly that is what the world comes to: Self sufficiency. If you are unable to take care of yourself you cost someone else the same amount to do it for you, and that is sloth.
Join us again for Part 3, in which I will address the moronic system that our government calls Justice.
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