America, as most of you have finally admitted to yourselves, is very clearly circling that metaphorical drain. "What drain?" some of those with less to offer might ask. Well, this drain. That is, THE drain. The one that symbolizes our morals and upright lifestyles. The balance of freedom and value that our government tries to get to fall in love with them. The ideal society that we as people and government have created and been ever so dissatisfied with since its conception.
Yes, today's lecture is about all those crazy rants you've likely heard about how corrupt and ineffective our world truly is. And here it is, in Lewis Black's words: "You are living in a delusion that is so magnificently structured." In fact, who can tell where the delusion ends and reality begins? I can. Anyone should be able to. It's like waking up. It's like finally being able to look down on the treetops rather than gaze up at them longingly. Back to Mr. Black though, and his point.
We each see the world differently, there is no 'how do I know what blue is to you?' bullshit. If things were truly that way we would not have all arrived at the same place or conclusions. Yes, there are opinions. And yes, we may sensually perceive things a bit differently. That is neither an excuse or explanation of what America, or humankind for that matter, has become today.
Firstly in this category I bring to light, exhibit A. Our culture as Americans. That is, pop culture. The skinny asses and broad bosoms of our favorite music icons, as well as their suggestive songs, have become ever more popular. This spreads the disease of idiocy even more. Not more than two weeks ago as I manned my station in the grocery store I witnessed not only the single most absent minded case of poor parenting, but the early youth of two young whores. While their mother was wrestling with the self-scan machine (and losing) her two young girls were listening to Keisha's Tik Tok. Really? Who would let two ten year olds listen to that? The music is good, but has anyone actually been able to not sing along with it? The FIRST FUCKING LINE is "Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack." Ten year old material? I think not. My parents wouldn't even let me watch fucking power rangers. What fun I had pretending to be Barney while my friends had the stupid helmets and plastic swords. I've also read several articles as of late showing studies and news relating to young girls in the pre-teen demographic, who due to both abundance of food and pressure to grow up faster, have begun to *ahem* 'develop' earlier. Both menstruation and shall we say, budding has begun almost ten years earlier than in the 1800s. In the 1800s girls began puberty at 17, but this was also attributed to malnutrition. This is PROOF fuckers. Proof that we are animals. It makes sense that a female of any species would only become ready to mate when her environment is ample. When food is plentiful and danger is not too great. So basically, we have offset our natural balance of population so poorly, that girls can produce children at 12. (Males however seem to be stuck at 12-14 still. I'm sure nature had that one nailed firmly to the process list for good reasons.) Oh did I mention that hitting puberty early also increases chances of cancer by a good chunk too? That's right. Our bodies are not only designed to adapt, but if we adapt too quickly and in too great of numbers, our bodies kill themselves. Again, proof that we are not meant for this lifestyle.
A second matter I should note here is the population. In sheer numbers we are outgrowing our resources. China, in ten years will cost double their resource drain to maintain, and they HAVE population limit laws. Are we not panicking yet? This is one of those idiotic schemes that has me shaking in my boots and screaming 'What the FUCK!?' Why, first off, has our government done nothing to broaden our alternative energy horizons. We could have had solar energy and electric cars if ten years ago if not for the greed involved. We also could have some population limit laws. I'm not saying it's right to do, I'm saying it NEEDS TO BE DONE. I don't want kids. Why the fuck am I still paying taxes to support kids that not even their foodstamp-ridden parents want? People just want to have sex, but because nobody can come up with an acceptable alternative to condoms. 'What about birth control Matt?' some of you may wonder. Well, do you really think that all those cousin-fucking hillbillies have the kind of time (or money for that matter) to go down to Rite Aid every four weeks and pick up their daughters' little ring o' pills? In fact I picture something much more ironic. Men, being egotistical and macho, knowing full well what they did with their girl friends, do NOT want their children playing doctor under the covers. So, they forbid it. They suppress their child's sex drive, and the children, seeing Lady Gaga and Snoop Dogg and thousands of other poor sexual models, go out and expect to get laid the second the opposite gender takes interest. Which is mostly true by the time they hit high school. And without proper instruction from the stubborn parents; without the support of the only possible good sexual models (if you don't count the squeaking bed from the room one over), they don't use protection or show any restraint. They do what comes NATURALLY. Ta-fucking-da. Sixteen year old momma and a boyfriend that will undoubtedly leave her in the name of further sexual conquest.
Any goddamn way you look at it. Any angle. The wrong genes and values will continue to be passed down until we find an alternative to natural selection. And nature has no man-made doppelganger. Not yet. I have many solutions. As always every intelligent man on the low half of the totem pole has a way. None of them are legal, safe, or within personal rights, however.
As we speak the planet's biology is evolving to kill us. Every year a new virus pops up, and it becomes immune to antibiotics very quickly. Every year that new virus leeches off people and fades into old news as the medical community tries not to turn it into another plague. One of these years, a virus will come along to give us the finger and one last glass of iced tea before we keel over into that bowl of Special K. In fact, last I checked there's already plenty of incurable diseases that are killing us off.( For anyone who eats crabs and doesn't realize that the astrological sign for a crab is CANCER, stop eating them. Maryland, the crab state, has the highest Cancer rate is the country. Still eating them? I thought not.) Obviously the world knows at least on a biological level that we are killing it, and that we must be balanced in order to live the way we are supposed to.
And what way is that? Small, tribal, hunter-gatherer communities. Not only do two or three people die from disease, but natural selection still has enough pull to have a tiger or pack of wolves wander into camp one night and pick off a few people. Oh and war. War is essential to the balance of life. I don't mean to sound fatalist here, but lets face it, I am. And I'm right too. The moment we began building cities and forming nations disease spread. Even with intelligent men behind the wheel, greed drove many of them. Greed and glory drove Alexander to conquer more than just Persia, and how'd he die? West Nile fuckers.
I'll let you chew on that for a while.
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