Friday, December 17, 2010

Oh WOW a whole month...

Hey fuck you, I get bored easy.

So yeah, uhhhh. cataclysm came out. Maybe I should go over that a bit, but I was also thinking about some other stuff. What Obama's been up to lately, namely. Oh and that damned third horseman of the apocalypse, Pestilence has been popping up going by his new name 'Holidays'. And what the fuck? This just in: I think I'm being a little cynical as of late. Hey, whatcha gonna do?

So. Cataclysm. Love/Hate. Same old same old. Stereotypical stable-server expansion release. All shine, no shit. Give it a go. The experience is solid. But hey, still a TON of people trying to do it all at once. Good luck leveling a crafting profession. Can drive a man to drinkin'.

Right. Obama. My good buddy El Presidente. Fuckin' nutter. Smart guy, dashing too. Complete nutter. I don't have the energy to do any research or outlining so you'll have to take this one on faith. It seems to me...that this guy, is a little too comfortable in his big chair to realize that it's being held up not by polished wooden legs, but by the masses of laborers still clinging to his 'HOPE' campaign posters. Sad when one realizes that what is likely to be the most important job position in the known world, could be run by any man from the working class with an IQ over 100. These private school bitches have got to stop running for office. Hey, woah. Hey, woah. Didn't I go to private school? Oh yeah, until I was given the choice to LEAVE. Good God, am I glad I left.

The Holidays. That delightful little Euphemism that leaves the kind-hearted gasping for air, as their heart size grows and their lung space diminishes. As for the rest of us cynical bastards,we,-again, euphemism-heart-no-oxygen,-appointed 'scrooges', have already taken a squared stance and begun our meditational breathing, ready to spout fire onto whatever religious, traditional, or new-age bullshit our closest friends and family have to toss at us in desperate attempts to convert us to their 'festivities' and 'good spirit'. What fun. The mad dash for whatever enlightenment that people find in shopping has long since begun. Even with the first delicate droppings of that feathery fine dandruff-like substance I find myself in shock that there is still milk on the grocery store shelves and that I am blessed with the electricity to tap away at the keyboard. That is, until some light-headed malnourished waterhead teenager manages to swerve a little too close to the middle of the road and upon pulling back too hard in the other direction, slams into a single pole, and wipes out half the eastern seaboard.

I think the effects of late-night sleeplessness and the giddy feeling of sobriety have had a very persuasive part in this article, and without further ado, I will head off to dream of the vague things that dance through our minds this time of year. Faceless women and featureless hundred dollar bills, as it usually is. Grab a blanket, snuggle close to that special someone, and pray things don't get awkward. Until next time.

Friday, November 12, 2010

I had a cool idea for a film, but it came out half shorty story, half screen play. Bear with me on the odd format. I'm trying to produce a title that isn't lame.


MAY 6, 2046: NEWS BROADCAST -FDC LIVE- 0914 HOURS

"Hello there, I'm Tina Sampson with the international news at FDC, and we bring you live to the perimeter of a one Mr. Markus Tekim's Jordan estate, where the military forces of INTERPOL have surrounded the area. It seems we may see a direct confrontation brought about by the events concerning Mr. Tekim over the past two years. We're receiving comments from the Director in Chief now.

BOTTOM SCROLL: GREGORI HARSKI - DIRECTOR IN CHIEF, INTERPOL
"Mr. Tekim has for quite a while now lead us on a wild chase for whatever secrets he has locked beneath his mansion here in Jordan. He has evaded all attempts to reveal his project, although we have just received permission to do just that.
To recap: On December 6th, 2043, two commercial airliners and one INTERPOL helicopter were bombarded by heavily coded electronic signals, which disrupted many of the controls and readings in each aircraft. The two commercial jets landed safely. The helicopter crew was not so lucky, however they did evacuate safely.
On March 8th, 2044, Mr. Tekim admitted to having the technology capable of such a transmission, but that it would not happen again. He not only paid all expenses related to the incident, but also refused to reveal the nature of his private property or its purpose.
Having shown his project to be a possible threat, several INTERPOL agents were placed on active surveillance, within legal limits. Not two weeks after his statement, a large electronic and radioactive spike set off and overloaded INTERPOL surveillance instruments. Following the second incident, Mr. Tekim insisted that it was another accidental experiment, but his vehement opposition to both surveillance and INTERPOL involvement were considered motive enough to lash out at officers working well within the law. Again, Tekim paid all expenses generously, but did not offer any information about his actions or intentions.
On November 1st, Mr. Tekim disappeared entirely. Neither professional nor personal networks had any communication with him. There were large fluxes of security measures reported at three of his estates, most notably that in Jordan. The following day, Tekim released a recorded video statement that if he was not left in peace, he would be forced into hiding forever. He also had many statements that included thanks given to his readers and followers.
Strangely, Mr. Tekim was spotted only twelve days later in public-- at a local gas station, of all places. Reporters and paparazzi were there in minutes. His only statement was upon being asked whether he was working for the American government. "America is a dead country." He said, "No matter what I tell you, nobody will believe me anyways." The cashier at the station said Mr. Telkim bought only a '100 Grand' candy bar and a can of Pepsi. Since then, he has shut himself inside his Jordan mansion, near Karameh outside Amman.
Furthermore, upon reviewing financial records dating back to 2043, INTERPOL has reason to believe that Mr. Tekim is in fact building a machine of war. A few excerpts of his recent purchases are as follows:
- Twelve thousand gallons JP-6 fuel
- Two hundred twenty tons of carbon steel
- Forty thousand dollars worth of assorted advanced electronic parts and blueprints
- Shares and access to A.I. software being developed by Artificial Intelligence Labs International (AILI)
- Shares, software, and blueprints from Advanced Robotics SOMATECH
- Shares, hardware, and blueprints from several advanced weaponry companies such as SARO, SETARA, and GURGIN
- Access to over forty molding, shaping, and refining factories in over twelve countries

As you can see, Mr. Tekim is likely building a machine with an arsenal capable of destructive force. Therefore, INTERPOL, with the support of the U.N. and the permission of Jordans' fine government officials, will conduct a search and possible seizure of Mr. Tekim's properties.
Mr. Tekim, should you be watching, I urge you to turn yourself in and offer full cooperation. We do this only in protection of our beloved homelands, and for Jordan herself. Thank you."

"There you have it, directly from the Director in Chief himself. We'll be right back with more recent developments on the Tekim controversy. This is Tina Sampson reporting for FDC."

JORDAN: MARKUS TEKIM'S ESTATE
DARK ROOM -TV ILLUMINATES MARKUS AND FELIX
"Ha! I knew there'd be no mention of the good stuff I got my hands on, and I never bought shit from SETARA."
"Naturally, Markus, most of what you got was top secret."
"Yeah, well. I guess it's time to fire it up, Felix. Wipe what you can, torch the rest. You've got the protocol?"
"I do." SIGH. "Finally time to leave the womb."
"I wonder if they've caught on to Aroff yet."
"Possible but unlikely. I'll go get Matt."
"Hey, Felix. Thanks. I mean, really, thanks. For all of it."
"Heh. My pleasure I guess. One last secret project before I retire in hiding."
"Anything else you need?"
"Just watch yourself out there. I didn't do it just for you. Hell, watch my back if you can."
"Yup." SHAKE HANDS
"This won't be goodbye, I hope."
"You'll see me on TV every day if all goes according to plan. No, that is. It won't be goodbye."
FELIX EXITS

3 MONTHS EARLIER: THE MICK DOUGAN SHOW - A POPULAR EVENING TV TALK SHOW
"Welcome back folks. Tonight we have an esteemed guest. He teaches several history classes at the University of Cambridge, and he's just written a book about Markus Tekim's past dealings and political influence over the past decade. Please welcome, Mr. Harry Metress. "
APPLAUSE - HARRY ENTERS- SITS
"Thanks Mick, how's it been?"
"Wonderful, actually. How's life on campus?"
"Not as bad as most professors make it out to be, really. Kind of everyone's a busybody, but theres a killer bunch of restaurants around the school for visiting parents."
"Hah, as long as you're coping Harry. Tell us about your book."
"Well, this one is actually sort of an addendum on Tekim's series. It's almost a manual. I wrote it to outline his works as a whole, but to extrapolate on his theories a bit."
"So it's a summary with notes."
"I suppose, yeah. I've basically take each theory a step further and put it into historical context. He uses examples, I use simulations. There's a line, uh -a fine line, I should say- uh, between what he proposes and what is actually being done about it. Proposing what he did actually twisted the minds of world leaders a little bit already."
"So Harry, how about all this Tekim controversy. What are your views on recent events?"
"Um, Tekim is all about complete an utter change, but he can't do anything without a position of power. So while most theorize that he's starting a revolution or a war or something like that, I think he's taking steps to ensure himself a throne from which to work, so to speak. He's got a good head on his shoulders, so I don't think he can go too far without damaging his reputation."
"So you think he's about to overthrow someone, or do you think he's just working up the press?"
"I was honestly a big supporter of Tekim a few years back, and some of that sticks with me for sure. I believe that with the right combination of minds, we could pry his motives from all that he's published. I think what we would find is an overwhelming desire for radical change. We're talking governments, policies, technologies, social structure...He wants to unite the world."

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

America and the Drain Pt. 4.1: Freedom? Yeah, for straight people.

You may have noticed in reading this series a certain trend of pessimism, or hell I'll say it, hidden bitterness. Last segment, I ranted about the justice system of America. In this installment we'll be skimming over the topic of freedom. The hypnotic icon that we as a people use to justify our wrongs, to justify our existence, to justify our behavior, and to swing like a pendulum over the rest of the world as if they're going to get sleepier and sleepier. It is an idiotic campaign in America to assert that we are a free country, let alone the most free. Keep in mind this country's history of segregation, racial prejudice, sexual oppression, and slanderous political backgrounds. Lets dive in shall we?

I am about to write a paper on gay rights for school, and I thought what better place to outline my thoughts than here, in the safety of my own blog? If this country were really so free, why then, is it taking so fucking long to decide whether gays can marry or not? If its a FREE country, then they should be FREE to do as the please. So long as its not a threat to national security, what the fuck is wrong with it? I should stop myself here and say I do not agree with the gay lifestyle. It gets tangled worse and worse every day now due to so many mixed feelings and personal stories. I personally believe that it is a natural thing to be attracted to another person, even of the same sex. Alexander the Great had lovers both male and female. We ALL know how nature intended humans, or all creatures for that matter, are meant to be paired off. I didn't choose to be attracted to women, its natural, just as it is natural for anyone else to be attracted to whom they are. Bottom line: Gay is a term for love between people who are created from the same dust, who breathe the same air, who possess the same faculties, and who make the same daily grind as the rest of us, but do not love a person who enables reproduction between the two of them. Same sex love. I know where a dick (or vagina) is supposed to go by law of reproduction, but we all know where it CAN go by law of natural attraction. Some people fuck dolls. Some people fuck toys. Nearly everyone on the planet has fucked themselves. It's not as nature intended, but it is natural. See the idea?
Now, the political issue in this matter lies with religion. Ahh yes, good old God. Here is where the tragedy of the human race lies, but we can save that issue for another time. The old fucks who run the place, uhh, senators and the president that is, believe that this country must be run by mandate of the laws laid down by their God, but they only half-ass it. For some reason many of the ten commandments are not in any way associated with laws. What happened to Honor thy Father and Mother? What about keeping the sabbath holy? What the fuck did they do with using the Lord's name in vain? And yet the oh so holy union between man and woman, which by the way is NOT a commandment, rather a teaching, is being enforced? What? Did we miss something? Are they really playing a card they don't really have? It's as if scribbled an 'A' on four corners of a business card and said it was a fifth ace.
If this is a free country, what gives them the right to dictate who a person chooses to create a home with? I could use a hundred more arguments here, like the fact that more than half the couples who marry end up divorced or split. As for this recent 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy debate, I have one thing to say. Who cares? What gay man or woman in their right mind brags about it to straight people in the military? Oh sure, provoke a creature that is already so hormone driven to be violent that you get laid more than him or her because you don't have sex with the opposite gender. Real smart. Honestly though, why is this still an issue? Anyone can recognize a gay person by going up to them in a bar and asking them if they're interested in a drink or a relationship. If the answer is 'I'm not interested.' or 'I'm gay.' the result is EXACTLY THE SAME. Why, would in the military, this case be any different (aside from the hate crimes committed against gays)? 'Oh well what if a gay person comes onto me, Matt?' Well, then you tellem you're not Gay. You should be flattered. HURR DURR. PROBLEM SOLVED.

Most of these issues are purely halted by a few stupid peoples' opinions. I still have no idea why we don't all vote as a people on one topic, rather than let a bunch of codgy old draft dodgers do the deciding for us. All in all, gays deserve their freedom as much as the rest of us cholesterol-packed, God-obsessed, money-lusting, hateful, prejudiced, sacks of shit. So why wait? Legalize gay marriage. Legalize gay adoptions. Legalize freedom.

Pt 4.2: Freedom? It's a Relative Thing. Coming soon.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Genesis: A poem

So I was digging through my old notebooks and found this old 3 part abstract poem. Thought I'd add a final piece, polish it up, and throw it down.

Genesis

He laughed in madness,
And stood facing out to sea.
Suddenly, a streak across the silver waves
And a path for him it hallowed.
Burning, blazing, sulfur,
Water boiled away.
Down, down, as if unplugged.
And yet when it was finished,
He sat and laughed some more.
Laughed at the flopping fish,
And the broken hulls of ships,
And slowly came to the next.
A second sea, full with life.
Boiled away so hot,
That even the sand began to glass,
Began to melt and slag.
The trees burned down.
The grass became ash.
Cities, households, people, were vaporized by fire.
All alone in the scorched world,
He laughed and watched the heavens.

He screamed in rage.
As he looked over a valley.
Suddenly, a drop of rain through the air,
A splash for him it sounded.
Clouds sailed, rain poured, flooding.
The oceans grew;
Grew as if fed from within.
And yet, when it was finished,
He screamed some more.
Screamed at the floating flotsam.
And at the swimming fish,
And slowly came to the next.
A second valley, barren of life,
Flooded, so full,
That even the land became water.
Began to moisten and break.
The Ships were tossed.
The Mountains drowned.
Plants, Birds, and Man, were swallowed by the sea.
All alone in the flooded world,
He screamed and watched the stars.

He wept in sadness,
As he stood facing out to sea.
Suddenly, a gust across the open sky,
And a cold for him it grew.
Wind blew, frost formed, snow fell.
The sky turned to ice.
Hardened, as if it were stone.
And yet when this was finished,
He sat and wept some more.
Wept at the frozen oceans,
And at the lonely skies.
And slowly came to the next.
A second sea, so full with life.
Turned to ice, so cold,
That even the fishes stopped,
Began to halt and freeze.
The depths were solid.
The core was stilled.
Mountains, plains ,and canyons, were silent under ice.
All alone in the frozen world,
He wept and watched the clouds.

At last, He fell silent.
As he shivered in the snow.
Suddenly, the sun passed overhead.
And a heat for him it started.
Ice melted, waters churned, life rekindled.
The waters receded.
Drained, as if turned to steam.
And yet when this was finished,
He stayed silent.
Silent in facing balance,
And in seeing life.
He slowly came to darkness.
A half of Earth, untouched by light.
The sun swayed, in orbit,
That land was freed again,
Yielded plant and man.
Trees took root.
Man took lodge.
Water, Air, and Fire, were balanced over Earth.
Still alone in the reborn world,
He smiled and returned to heaven.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Old Hilarities

So a buddy recently dug up my old Xanga site, which was both disturbing and funny. Rather than delete it (I don't recall the password), I decided to scroll through every post. Most are to be expected, the spazzing and the depression, but I stumbled upon this.


This is a newsletter that St. Mary's church in Colorado Springs sent out this week:

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Stew

Recently I find myself immersed in many things I was not a month ago. I've been studying, meditating, observing, learning. I have been stewing the juices so to speak. Soon enough the flavor will be impeccable.

Among studies, I have picked up Buddhism, which I find both foreign and familiar. Foreign in the sense that it reflects a culture not my own, and that it also reflects many pieces of myself I have not seen before. Familiar in the sense that I find myself many steps further down the path of enlightenment than I could have thought, and that it reflects also the pieces of myself that I have seen reflected in many other pools along such a path. I find the study of this spiritual journey fascinating. No, I do not consider myself a true Buddhist, but sensibly we are all Buddhists in some form or another, according to Buddhism that is. Buddhism is not a religion, rather, it is a spiritual assessment test. It helps to prune the mind and set one on the path to a greater mental consciousness. So no robes and beads here, but it does lead to the second of my recent endeavors.

Mystical as it may seem, meditation has piqued my interest. Thus I find myself as of late sitting in the afternoon sun or before a lone candle, clearing my mind and counting my breaths. Not only have I been meditating along a spiritual path, but also on along the plane of reality. I have too long waited and watched in from this room and through the eyes of a young man. I have forced myself from several avenues of pleasure, and taken up practice, of both spiritual and realistic means, to ensure a future for myself. Perhaps, as lazy as I was through adolescent years, I have learned enough to put into practice. Time will Tell.

I have observed or rather, witnessed a few things lately that have stirred emotion in me. I have unearthed a little motivation and have begun to drip my creativity into notebooks again. Doodles, poems, names. Through watching movies, people, reactions, and discipline I seem to have absorbed a bit of each into a repertoire of sorts. Perhaps again, I may put into reality that which I have craved to learn from all these years.

Now I know I speak almost in riddles. Very high and fashionable, foolishly wise-sounding, but I can think of no better ways at current to relay these feelings I wish to remember. The changing of boy to man.

(Yes yes, America and the Drain will continue eventually.)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Confucius Say

Confucius Say:
Killing two birds with one stone often ends with hate mail from the humane society.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

America and the Drain Pt 3: The Sum of its Parts

'The Sum of its parts' is a phrase that means, arguably, that the subject can be defined as that which it is comprised of. Literally, 'you are what you eat' on a much broader spectrum of analysis. I could use this last statement to segue into my disgust at the diet of the average American, but this would also come with an admittance of the fact that I too fall prey to food that has twice the amount of sugar in it than any bit of actual nutrition. But I won't. Instead I'll keep chugging along the track that I was headed. That is, the American agenda. That battered old day planner in Uncle Sam's back pocket. The 'system'. So what is that America has tried and toiled for that can take up true value in words? Freedom? No. I am still standing with gaping mouth at the lunacy splayed spread eagle before me in this case. Trust me, 'Freedom' is not defined in the dictionary like it is in the movies. Let alone in congress. That other proper noun though, that comes after Liberty. That might do the trick. That word that denotes so much meaning that it drives almost every conscious, philosophic (note that there are the two different kinds)mind into a frenzy. Justice. Not just justice. Justice. Capital 'J'.
Truthfully, America has seen it fair share of bringing its enemies to Justice. Every single time, however, it comes at too great a cost.
I personally believe that justice can only be dealt between a victim and the aggressor. Revenge is the sweetest sin, as they say. (Whoever 'they' are, they're wrong. I find Irony to be the sweetest.) I believe that if you have a problem you can't solve, you are at fault. Yes, I also believe that the strong should help to defend the weak, especially on a personal level, and I know that this is a little hypocritical. So I have a sense of morality after all. Deal with it. If a woman is raped, I believe it is in her full rights, with the proper proof of course, to make that offender suffer the same. She could hire a bigger fucker to make him the victim, or maybe just make him eat his own balls. In fact, why begin the process there? Why not be preemptive about it. Fuck your silly little whistles, who has that ever stopped from putting a hand on your ass? Carry a goddamn knife. Learn to defend yourself, or better yet, partner up.(Smart)criminals only strike when they know they can get away with it. So make it more difficult for them. THIS IS WHY WE PUT LOCKS ON DOORS.
At the other end of crime we have jail. Ah yes, when a man commits a crime we give him three meals a day, freedom from modern culture, and all the time to think in the world. Sounds like heaven to me. Sounds like this should be mandatory for a lot of high school kids. Believe it or not, America's hard earned money is wasted on this, rather than invested. Investing would be say, cycling the money so it makes its way back to you. What happens, rather, is official looking men in suits and ties all line up outside the BOP (Federal Bureau of Prisons)and throw fistfuls of hundred dollar bills and buffalo nickels at both passerby and those who come and go from the main entrance. If we as a people sincerely wanted to be efficient instead of slow to adapt and survive, then we would have a long time ago, decided to award the death penalty for any murder case in which the accused was found guilty. Not only does this save us the energy and money to house and care for the fucker, but it makes room for one more guy who didn't quite make the death sentence. Also, stop using needles and electricity to kill criminals.(According to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, the cost for the drugs used in lethal injection is $86.08, Not including the manpower to mix, transport, and inject the cocktail o' blackness.) That costs more money than an axe to the back of the neck, which is an execution that can be carried out by anyone over the age of 16. what ever happened to public hangings? That set a good example. We could even go with George Carlin's idea and bring back a modern day arena. Do you know how much money wrestling makes the entertainment industry? Think of that, but without pulling the punches. Ka-ching. Now that's an investment!
The other half of Justice on America's behalf is war. The war in the middle East is a prime-cut example. We had no reason to be there. We had faulty intelligence, most of which, is STILL IN OFFICE. If it wasn't faulty intelligence, then it was a lie. There is absolutely no denying it. I won't go any further on this matter until I have a better structured ramble about it, but you get the idea. It was pure American style, rushing to the aid of a country we should have either invaded or simply nuked.
Either way Justice is not quite what it's cooked up to be. As I said before, I think true justice is what happens between individuals, not countries. Justice is certainly not spending millions on an unnecessary occupation while previous war veterans go hungry and homeless.

Join me for the slightly more hopeful look to the future in part 4. Coming soon.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

America and the Drain Pt 2: Who Pulled the Plug?

Ah yes, back to that drain metaphor again. If you haven't already, read the post before this one. It may give you the chance to either understand this one or the will to close this page and watch some youtube shit instead. Or both. So back to the drain, yes. That drain which America has begun circling in ignorance and idiocy. There are several unanswerable questions that come to mind here. If we are draining, it means we are liquid. How could America be a liquid? Are we a drinkable and digestible liquid that may someday pass through the urinary tract of some cosmic figure that watches over us, or, are we in fact that food-bloated scum-water that's always left in the sink after dinner? Whose sink are we draining down? How do we know it's a sink? But the most important question to ask in any dire situation is, who is to blame? Or in this case, who pulled the plug? Well, I'm here to tell you. It wasn't the gays or the womens' rights activists like so many religious zealots claim. It was, in fact, the elderly. Yes, gramma and grampa. Those kitten-obsessed hunchbacks that still send you stickers for your birthday even though you're turning 23. Them. How, you probably wonder, can such kind and loving people be the culprit behind this mangled mess?
Opinions. They have opinions. Ahh yes, some of you are catching on now. The elderly are so revolted at the changes in our culture and the difference from 'back in their day' that they have wedged their opinions firmly in the ass of government. Sure not all of them agree. My father thoroughly enjoys Mariah Carey as well as Heart and I trust his open mind to carry this trend further. Seriously, no demographic sucks as many precious minutes of our time as these old fucks. Not only do we feel morally obligated to care for them in their deteriorating final years, but they demand compensation for their misfortune of aging. They get disability checks instead of a swift death at the hands of mother nature. We spend billions on bullshit medical studies trying to keep them alive longer. WHY? For Christ's sake why the fuck would anyone want to live that long? I'm not even 20 yet and I am fully prepared to die. If they can't go out with dignity then is it really a worthy sacrifice to drain what's left of ours? If you are offended at this point you have good reason, but so do I. I have witnessed firsthand. I worked as an 'activities assistant' at a local retirement home for a whole summer, which is one summer longer than I will ever work in one again. More than three-fourths of these people were bedridden and so far gone that they have no idea what is going on around them. I had a kind old lady, bless Mrs. Lenore Albert's heart (she has passed since then), who told me over the course of two hours six Alzheimer's induced situations in which I was either her first boy friend as we attended a baseball game, her husband sitting on our front porch, or her brother playing a game in the yard. One of these was invariably named Joe, my guess is as good as yours, but that's what she repeatedly called me. This used to make me think that life was truly the mental trips of our dreaming corpses in hospital beds in the future. It was a dark place to work. Every day as they all woke for their morning sponge baths it sounded like the chorus of the damned. I had to deliver newspapers to many of the rooms and was horrified to think that i should ever see some naked 80-year-old being swabbed by a nurse as they choked down whatever pills they were prescribed. Though most of the poor folks in that home should have died a long time ago, I still met one or two that still hold with me today. Not necessarily the wisdom they imbued but the genuine trust and care they held for anyone but themselves.
The real problem does not lie in nursing homes, no. It's the old folks that still drive. The ones that go a good 20 miles UNDER the speed limit just to accommodate their bouncing chocolate lab in the back seat. Fuck you, I have to get to work early. The other fourth of the aforementioned nursing home population was broken into two halves. One half demanded every accommodation readily available while the other half suffered in silence, if not indifferent and immersed in some other reality.
And the worst of the worst are the disabled. Let me just say, if you are claiming disability because you are fat, or have leg problems because you are fat, you are a despicable human being. How many times have I had to fetch the scooter-cart for the elderly to buzz around on in the grocery store? Too many. Why the fuck, would you, knowing full well you cannot walk or stand for longer than a minute go to the grocery store and expect anyone there to spend their time and money to make you more comfortable. But it WORKS. They manage to weasel attention and resources out of the public because of our guilt and shame and morality. They have found a way to tip the already skewed natural balance to their favor.
Now, I know the two fucking billion elderly people who make their pilgrimage to Florida every year bring in a lot of revenue, but most of these people are fit enough to golf twice a week. They have taken care of themselves long enough to reap the benefits of success late in life. THESE elders are those we should respect and listen to.
Perhaps I am targeting the elderly as only a subgroup of those who take advantage of our policies. Maybe I just hate old people because they always get their way. After all, they seem to swarm grocery stores at 8AM religiously just to buy shit they don't need and they can bitch about the prices.
Collectively, it's the system to blame. It's too lenient. It allows the expansion of a group of people that will only leech and not contribute. If it seems wrong to you to deny people comfort over funding a way to colonize space, fucking wake up. We as a race, as i so delicately laid out in my previous post, are expanding too fast to be able to support ourselves. And truly that is what the world comes to: Self sufficiency. If you are unable to take care of yourself you cost someone else the same amount to do it for you, and that is sloth.

Join us again for Part 3, in which I will address the moronic system that our government calls Justice.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

America and the Drain: Pt.1 In Which We Begin to See the Reflection of Our Doom

America, as most of you have finally admitted to yourselves, is very clearly circling that metaphorical drain. "What drain?" some of those with less to offer might ask. Well, this drain. That is, THE drain. The one that symbolizes our morals and upright lifestyles. The balance of freedom and value that our government tries to get to fall in love with them. The ideal society that we as people and government have created and been ever so dissatisfied with since its conception.
Yes, today's lecture is about all those crazy rants you've likely heard about how corrupt and ineffective our world truly is. And here it is, in Lewis Black's words: "You are living in a delusion that is so magnificently structured." In fact, who can tell where the delusion ends and reality begins? I can. Anyone should be able to. It's like waking up. It's like finally being able to look down on the treetops rather than gaze up at them longingly. Back to Mr. Black though, and his point.
We each see the world differently, there is no 'how do I know what blue is to you?' bullshit. If things were truly that way we would not have all arrived at the same place or conclusions. Yes, there are opinions. And yes, we may sensually perceive things a bit differently. That is neither an excuse or explanation of what America, or humankind for that matter, has become today.
Firstly in this category I bring to light, exhibit A. Our culture as Americans. That is, pop culture. The skinny asses and broad bosoms of our favorite music icons, as well as their suggestive songs, have become ever more popular. This spreads the disease of idiocy even more. Not more than two weeks ago as I manned my station in the grocery store I witnessed not only the single most absent minded case of poor parenting, but the early youth of two young whores. While their mother was wrestling with the self-scan machine (and losing) her two young girls were listening to Keisha's Tik Tok. Really? Who would let two ten year olds listen to that? The music is good, but has anyone actually been able to not sing along with it? The FIRST FUCKING LINE is "Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack." Ten year old material? I think not. My parents wouldn't even let me watch fucking power rangers. What fun I had pretending to be Barney while my friends had the stupid helmets and plastic swords. I've also read several articles as of late showing studies and news relating to young girls in the pre-teen demographic, who due to both abundance of food and pressure to grow up faster, have begun to *ahem* 'develop' earlier. Both menstruation and shall we say, budding has begun almost ten years earlier than in the 1800s. In the 1800s girls began puberty at 17, but this was also attributed to malnutrition. This is PROOF fuckers. Proof that we are animals. It makes sense that a female of any species would only become ready to mate when her environment is ample. When food is plentiful and danger is not too great. So basically, we have offset our natural balance of population so poorly, that girls can produce children at 12. (Males however seem to be stuck at 12-14 still. I'm sure nature had that one nailed firmly to the process list for good reasons.) Oh did I mention that hitting puberty early also increases chances of cancer by a good chunk too? That's right. Our bodies are not only designed to adapt, but if we adapt too quickly and in too great of numbers, our bodies kill themselves. Again, proof that we are not meant for this lifestyle.
A second matter I should note here is the population. In sheer numbers we are outgrowing our resources. China, in ten years will cost double their resource drain to maintain, and they HAVE population limit laws. Are we not panicking yet? This is one of those idiotic schemes that has me shaking in my boots and screaming 'What the FUCK!?' Why, first off, has our government done nothing to broaden our alternative energy horizons. We could have had solar energy and electric cars if ten years ago if not for the greed involved. We also could have some population limit laws. I'm not saying it's right to do, I'm saying it NEEDS TO BE DONE. I don't want kids. Why the fuck am I still paying taxes to support kids that not even their foodstamp-ridden parents want? People just want to have sex, but because nobody can come up with an acceptable alternative to condoms. 'What about birth control Matt?' some of you may wonder. Well, do you really think that all those cousin-fucking hillbillies have the kind of time (or money for that matter) to go down to Rite Aid every four weeks and pick up their daughters' little ring o' pills? In fact I picture something much more ironic. Men, being egotistical and macho, knowing full well what they did with their girl friends, do NOT want their children playing doctor under the covers. So, they forbid it. They suppress their child's sex drive, and the children, seeing Lady Gaga and Snoop Dogg and thousands of other poor sexual models, go out and expect to get laid the second the opposite gender takes interest. Which is mostly true by the time they hit high school. And without proper instruction from the stubborn parents; without the support of the only possible good sexual models (if you don't count the squeaking bed from the room one over), they don't use protection or show any restraint. They do what comes NATURALLY. Ta-fucking-da. Sixteen year old momma and a boyfriend that will undoubtedly leave her in the name of further sexual conquest.
Any goddamn way you look at it. Any angle. The wrong genes and values will continue to be passed down until we find an alternative to natural selection. And nature has no man-made doppelganger. Not yet. I have many solutions. As always every intelligent man on the low half of the totem pole has a way. None of them are legal, safe, or within personal rights, however.
As we speak the planet's biology is evolving to kill us. Every year a new virus pops up, and it becomes immune to antibiotics very quickly. Every year that new virus leeches off people and fades into old news as the medical community tries not to turn it into another plague. One of these years, a virus will come along to give us the finger and one last glass of iced tea before we keel over into that bowl of Special K. In fact, last I checked there's already plenty of incurable diseases that are killing us off.( For anyone who eats crabs and doesn't realize that the astrological sign for a crab is CANCER, stop eating them. Maryland, the crab state, has the highest Cancer rate is the country. Still eating them? I thought not.) Obviously the world knows at least on a biological level that we are killing it, and that we must be balanced in order to live the way we are supposed to.
And what way is that? Small, tribal, hunter-gatherer communities. Not only do two or three people die from disease, but natural selection still has enough pull to have a tiger or pack of wolves wander into camp one night and pick off a few people. Oh and war. War is essential to the balance of life. I don't mean to sound fatalist here, but lets face it, I am. And I'm right too. The moment we began building cities and forming nations disease spread. Even with intelligent men behind the wheel, greed drove many of them. Greed and glory drove Alexander to conquer more than just Persia, and how'd he die? West Nile fuckers.
I'll let you chew on that for a while.